American Pie - The whole damn thing

The last installment of the American Pie trilogy, American Wedding is the most disappointing.   It just didn’t have the same fun vibe as the previous two movies, though they did tap into that fun for a little during the bachelor party scene.  The hijinks in general were more extreme, but they didn’t have the same impact.  I think that before when there was a hijink, you usually felt some sympathy for the person.  But in this movie, most of everything happened to or because of Stifler who you couldn’t possibly feel sorry for.  I think that was my main issue with the movie.  Despite that it’s about Jim and Michelle’s wedding, the movie continually focused so much more on Stifler, I mean waaaaay more, and this Stifler is him at his worst.  We went from being the typical horny-jock-asshole to just being completely insane.  Frankly, it’s a little uncomfortable, plus annoying.  I get it that they wanted to show the evolution of Stifler from being insufferable to being almost decent, but why?  He was always the slight antagonist and isn’t a part of the four friends.  Oz isn’t in the movie at all and Kevin is barely present, and when he is he’s boring as hell.  So they made Kevin a bigger pussy and they made Finch less sophisticated.  At least we didn’t have to suffer another appearance by Vicky.  On a brighter note, it’s sweet how they confirmed Jim and Michelle’s relationship is more than sexual exploration (not that it isn’t a part of it) and again showed the characters’ maturing process.  It’s a little weird that the trilogy ended on so sentimentally and its sad that Oz wasn’t a part of it, but it was a good way of putting a period on this entire story. 

For more info on this movie, click on the link:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0328828/

American Pie - A nice helping, please

This sequel is as good and entertaining as it's original counterpart.  The writers did a great job at creating character development and adapting the main characters to their high school life to their present college one.  It's cute how they portray the reunion of old friends after separating for their "life changing" experiences at college and still being as close as ever.  Simply unrealistic (I'm not being pessimistic, just honest), but a sweet notion.  What is most impressive is how the producers managed to get all of the the characters from the first movie to be in the second.  How rare is that?  And each characters' characteristics were amplified: Oz being even more Mr. Sensitivity, Stifler being douchebaggier, Finch being more off-putting, etc.  With that, I feel they also made the girls' parts in the movie more prominent than they should be, especially Tara Reid's.  Vicky is such an obnoxious bitch and I hoped her friend Jessica would punch her in the face... really hard.  And my heart goes out to the sexy and simple Nadia when Jim rejects her.  How crushing.  But I don't care how off her taste may be and how much she adores geeks, hell no would anybody that hot sleep with a guy like Scherman.  I mean, he's just too ewwy.  Gross.

Once again the movie covers more topics than simply the joy of promiscuity; the survive of first time long-distance  relationships, the confrontation of old loves, and the male species fascination with lesbianic sex.  However, I can't say anybody can relate to having yourself superglued to your penis and a porn tape.  Funny yet mortifying.  They never did say how the doctor managed to help Jim.  Hopefully more than just yanking it loose.  But I guess that's the point of Jim's character: to perpetually be the one to end up in every uncomfortable situation.  For real, I may be gay but I would find it too awkward if a trumpet was shoved up my ass.  Point is, Jim gets all the best gimmicks.  Let's just be thankful that the creators refrained from being clichy enough as to find some way to incorporate an apple pie into the movie simply because of the franchise's name. 

For more information on this movie, click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0252866/

American Pie - One Slice

This is a good movie, hands down.  I mean, who doesn't find this movie funny, besides the prissy & stuck-up girls?  As being part of that whole string of high school teen comedies that was so popular during the late-90's (i.e. Can't Hardly Wait and She's All That), this is by far one of the best.  I contribute it to the fact that instead of focusing on the hooky romance, it focused on... well the sex, specifically of adolescent males.  I would say it was an updated version of Porky's, but funnier.  Over the top in every way, it took a topic that usually is spoken in secrecy and all seriousness and made it something that everybody could relate to (yes I am also including the female species).  True, most people don't end up drinking cum-mixed beer or fucking an apple pie along the road of getting some sex, but it did point out issues like the difficulty of approaching and preparing for sex, it being spontaneous or planned, how it relates to your partner, what to do with feelings involved, etc. 
My problem is that, in reality, I would find hard to believe that either of the four boys would have had trouble getting laid, especially Oz (played by Chris Klein).  He's a beefy stud (thanks God for locker room scenes!)  Even if he would come off insencere and say corny lines, girls would've slept with him anyway.  Finch may have been the least likely to appeal to women, he's certainly not homely, but he was weird.  Even Jim (Jason Biggs) is adorable.  He is a geek, but some people like that.  I mean, I do.  Nadia certainly did to!  He isn't a deuschbag and he isn't bad-looking.  But my definite preference goes to Thomas Ian Nicholas' character, Kevin Myers.  Not a hunk, but he has all of the "nice guy" qualities, with his honest sincerity and supportiveness.  And he's just so damn cute!  Definitely more of the ideal boyfriend.  And once again, wouldn't have had trouble getting some.  Vicky just took forever to pull the stick out of her ass.  It's also a little shocking to see Nicholas in this kind of movie.  He had definitely come far since A Kid in King Arthur's Court, though he had just shot A Kid in Aladdin's Palace just a year before American Pie.  Just when you thought you knew an actor.  And a shout-out to Alyson Hannigan for bringing the best out of a band geek and to Eugene Levy for just being himself.
Yes, I definitely feel we could give thanks to American Pie for bringing such hijinks and laughs, and especially for popularizing the term MILF and bringing the famous line "One time at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy". 

For more info on this movie, click on the link below:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0163651/

A new kind of Alice: the horribly cheap mid-80's made-for-tv kind

This made-for-tv movie musical is another memory of my childhood at my grandparents.  Though the overall title is Alice in Wonderland, the movie is divided into two parts, the first "Alice in Wonderland" and the second "Alice Through the Looking Glass".  Watching it now, I realize exactly how horrible it is: both in acting and set/special-effects quality.  I guess I should keep in mind that it was the 80's and it was a rather elaborate production for tv, but I can still wish for it to be better.  And even if the special effects were better, its hard to excuse the horrible acting, mainly referring to our heroine Alice (Natalie Gregory).  The girl was ten at the time of filming, but when you have seen great young actresses like Dakota Fanning and Lindsay Lohan, makes you thing "really, there was no one better?"  On the other hand, the film also contained a large amount of big name stars at the time, such as Red Buttons, Sherman Hemsley, Sammy Davis Jr., Carol Channing, just to name a few.  Now what would push these celebrities to do such a d-list movie is beyond me, but it didn't stop them from displaying their talents and trying to make the best of a horrible script and production.
I know I make it seem so dismal now, but I do remember loving it then.  I enjoyed the multitude of different characters with there own different personalities (at the time I had yet to read they novel and there for wasn't familiar with the Looking Glass characters yet) and how more detailed the story was compared to the animated Disney movie.  The story seemed to have no end (the movie's length is 3 hours), and all the events seemed too amazing.  I laugh now remembering how much I wondered how they made Alice grow and shrink and how Alice passed through the looking glass.  Geez wiz, what a poor simple child.  I do also remember how much it bothered me that they dressed Alice up in a peach frock instead of the infamous blue, and it still does.  It's just how it is!  Alice=blue dress.  It's the law.  And the Jabberwocky frightened me so much that I would fast forward through those parts.  It still is rather scary.  Production probably spent most of their money on that costume, and the castle set for the last banquet/chasing scene. 
Another downside to the movie is that it couldn't just simply be about the story.  They made it to teach children life lessons through Alice, who in Wonderland learned about growing up and then in Looking Glass Land learned to conquer her fears.  And they also tried to entertain through musical numbers.  Almost every main character had a number to sing, and that's along, especially when when half of them can't actually sing and the other half (more rather) are terrible numbers.  Shame on you, Stephen Deutsch and Morton Stevens! 
The movie is nice to have around for reminiscence sake, but unless you're a small child it's not going to do anything for you.

For more info on the movie, check out the link below:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088693/

Disney's Alice in Wonderland... the animated one

Alice in Wonderland, over all other Disney animated classics (with the possible exception of Sleeping Beauty), is my favorite and holds a very dear place in my heart.  When I was younger and my family would travel once or twice a year to visit my grandparents, the whole household had to share the one tv that had cable, and needless to say being the youngest I rarely got access to it (my better chances were always in the morning while everybody else was asleep).  However, my grandparents did obtain a small collection of vhs's for "the kids" to watch, which some of them I would watch repeatedly.  Of these videos there were four Disney films: Bambi, The Jungle Book, Peter Pan, aaaaaaaaaand Alice in Wonderland, which quickly became my movie of preference.  The movie always mesmerized me; I was completely in wonder of Wonderland.  The story is so fantastic, and despite all the crazy impossible things, there is no source such as magic to back up there reasoning.  It's just so.  The animation is so pleasing and at times quite comforting, along with the characters.  I remember wishing it was real and that I could go there.
There's so many wonderful moments, I can't list them all, but my favorite is the opening credits.  The opening song and the pictures that frame the credits are imprinted in my memory.  That's actually the best part of old classic Disney cartoons: the old time chorus music and the beautiful hand drawn animation.  Really, everything was hand drawn, both characters and backgrounds, and its the most wonderful and beautiful quality to the movies.  Alice's song "In A World of My Own" is a lovely little diddy, and I would watch her fall down the rabbit hole in amazement.  And the White Rabbit's house is so damn cute.  It's sad that it got ruined.  And the Mad Hatter's tea party the Queen of Hearts croquet game are highlights for obvious reasons.
Now a couple comments on Alice herself. The character in the movie holds a physical trait that I strangely like, that being she has huge calves and then really tiny feet, much like Katrina from the Sleepy Hollow section of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad. I find it dainty somehow, that and her every plushy skirt. Also, Alice's voice (provided by Katherine Beaumont) confuses me.  Is it an English accent?  Or is it just proper?  Hard for me to tell.  And besides this, Alice very well may be the only Disney character who can't very well sing... at all. Not cute. It's a shame.
I am a little surprised that the movie's initial release in 1951 wasn't received very well; it has to be one of the most charming and entertaining animated films ever!  What I'm not surprised about is that a lot of scrutiny came from literary analyst, fans of the novel, and Brits, accusing Disney of destroying and "Americanizing" one of the most renowned stories in the English literature, and of course the overall heavy editing and alteration of the story.  I most certainly protest any criticism of this movie.  It was for the love of the movie why I read the novel to begin with, the first time being when I was in the third grade. 

Of course, the real story holds more adult and intellectual elements, which is probably why the book is always so heavily analyzed in schools.  It should be acknowledged that Disney was creating a movie adaptation for children and young families, so no duh he was going to make it more appealing to children through beautiful colorization (if I do say so myself) and humorizing the characters.  As anyone who has read the novel would know, the characters in the stories aren't nearly as likable as Disney had made them; they were crazy but not funny.  In the movie, I find all the characters lovable (especially the Chesire Cat and the Mad Hatter), with the exception of caterpillar ('cause he has a 'tude) and those talking flowers that were so rude to Alice and thought she was a weed.  Damn racists, that's all they are.
Also, I find it clever how the best elements from both stories, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, where combined into one movie.  Have to admit, I can't see the Mock Turtle being entertaining enough to be a part of the story, nor would I expect children to pick up the concept of characters based on chest pieces or how to even fit them into the movie.  But the addition of the adorable characters found in the Tulgey Wood an excellent touch.  Yes, I do believe the movie's final outcome was amazing.


For more information on the movie, follow the link below:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0043274/